Actors

It's all a show. The pain. The pleasure. The sorrow. The happiness. It's scripted. It's premeditated by the people involved that aren't you. You may think the dialogues and interactions are yours to mold and manipulate. They're not. You see we're actors, in a dark comedy produced by those around us. Or maybe your story is a tragedy, or a romantic tear-jerker, or a jam packed action/adventure that never gets dull. The point still remains, we don't choose. We've relinquished all power we have in our lives by simply living. Yes, we make choices and they have outcomes. We "stick to the status quo" or "stick it to the man," but those around us are always going to have the power to influence us. And to all the nay sayers who "live above peer pressure," shut up! No you don't. It's good to try to, but you don't succeed. At least not fully.

I've witnessed first-hand the powerlessness that is me. I do what I do because it's my role. Because those around me see to it that I recite my lines perfectly. Because corporate will cancel my contract if I don't agree to his/her/their terms. I've gotten good at this acting thing though. I memorize my lines, and can see part of the plot that lies ahead sometimes. It's come from 20 years of being in this business. Sometimes the plot twists still surprise me. Recent turns have really caught me off-guard. I guess I've been too distracted by my side jobs to focus on acting out my life. For shame. I've learned from these past few twists that I can't be the director. He/She/They have the last say in your performance. Try to sit in the director's chair and see what happens. I dare you.

No my place, like yours, is that of an actor, at least when it comes to my own life. You see we all get our chance to act, direct, produce, and write, but for our own lives we're simply payed with various comforts for reciting our lines without contention. Take a look around. Do you disagree? I believe in free will, but do we access it...no.

The Lessons of Summer 2010!

This summer has been quite eventful. I've tried to balance a very time-consuming job, preparing for fall, hanging out with friends, staying in touch with old friends, getting involved in a new church, and many other things that I don't feel like writing. This summer has been full of lessons as well. No matter how much you think you learn about yourself, there's always another layer. I found out a lot about myself throughout this whole year, and quite a bit came from this summer. Now it's time for one of my beautiful lists!

Lesson the First: It's okay to be different. It's okay to have differing opinions than those around you. It's okay to be quirky. It's okay to get blank stares because people don't understand your humor and pop culture references (which happened a lot on my Incept tours, because obviously, my level of thinking is above these ding bats). It's okay to date anyone you are attracted to. It's okay to be the only white kid in a room full of African Americans/black people. Being different is beautiful! Being different is what makes everyone special! God loves us in part, because we are different, and we need to find what makes each of us different and make those attributes our greatest strengths. It's okay to be different!

Lesson the Second: People can surprise you. We shouldn't judge or underestimate anyone based on what little we know about them...which I'm still working on. I am friends with people that I never thought I would be after this summer. The opposite is also true. I'm not friends with people I thought I would be friends with. Some people who I thought I would get along swimmingly with this summer turned out to be my least favorite, while others surprised me and surpassed all expectations I had for them. Some friends lied to me, while others were brutally honest. Some of my friends are actually growing into adults, while others are backtracking. People can surprise you!

Lesson the Third: Family is important. I spent more time away from my family than I ever have this summer, and realized how much I enjoy being around them. We fight, we argue, we annoy each other, but we're family! I would kill for each member. This encompasses all of my family. I have an odd family dynamic in which we are actually very close to all of our aunts, uncles, and cousins, so that is who I refer to when I say my family. For example, I'm closer to my cousin Lauren than I ever thought possible. We are 7 years apart and are at completely different stages of life, but she's been where I currently am and is one my best advisors. Family is important!

Lesson the Fourth: Confrontation isn't always a bad thing. I've grown up with friends and family who are avoiders of confrontation and rather let things boil till the pot runs over and everything comes out at once. This summer, I tried a different approach to some of my problems: level-headed confrontation. It's not always negative to confront someone about an issue if you go into the situation calmly. I don't believe you necessarily have to be constructive. If you say destructive things in a mellow way you can sometimes get away with it. It's a matter of mood and aura when you approach someone. Come at them in a calm way and you may have a better chance of getting the issue resolved. Confrontation isn't always a bad thing!

Lesson the Fifth: Life isn't always full of sunshine and daisies. There are dark times to be had in all lives. Sometimes you are going to sit in your room alone with some Jack Daniels and realize that things suck! You will realize that you are at your worst and may feel unworthy of anything good or pleasant. This is natural. Everyone goes through these foul times and can expect them to eventually be back at some later point. When this happens, find your center. Remember what is important to you and fight like hell to climb out of the dark hole. Turn to faith. Turn to friends. Turn to family. Turn to therapy. Turn to watching great movies and TV shows that never get old. Turn to constructive activities, such as sports, music, working out, reading, etc. These times can be beaten, but will most likely be recurring holes that hinder our already rocky path down life's yellow brick road. If only we were given a pair of red slippers or Glenda the good witch would show her face. Sadly, we are left with our own resources to fight these times. Life isn't always full of sunshine and daisies!

Lesson the Sixth: Those who really care about you will always be there. People come and go in everyone's lives, but those who really matter, the ones you randomly text Buffy lines to (Bekah), the ones who randomly ask you "What's up?" (C Bill, Lauren, Mawnk, Drea, Sawn, Trey, Chessie, and others), the ones who see you and scream your name and run to you (Callie, Andrea, Amberly, and Charity), the ones who remember weird high school events and think of you (Anna-Marie, Alex, and Spencer), the ones who come visit you, the ones who tell you they love you no matter what, the ones who are new to your life but still feel comfortable enough with you to automatically make a niche in their lives for you (the Incept team, Rohan, Numa, Chris, Candace, and Amanda), those are the ones that matter! They will be there no matter what you do, say, or face in life. Even if the time you spend with them has been cut down, call them and they will be there asap! You wanna know why? They genuinely care about you and your happiness! They actually care about what happens to you. I will give you time to let that sink in because I know that is a shocker.

....................................................................................................................................................................

Okay shock over? Good. These people care about you no matter how you feel at the current time. They want you to succeed, even if you do better than them. They want you to be happy, even if you're happier than them. The ones who don't matter will abandon you when things get tough, but those who matter will be there. Those who really care about you will always be there!

Lesson the Seventh: Be happy. I know this sounds simple, but it's hard to just be happy when you have pressures being thrown at you from all directions! It's hard to be happy when you are living for others. It's hard to be happy when you are living for recognition. It's hard to be happy when you aren't being yourself but the shell of what you could be. Living like this will kill you! It causes unneeded stress and worry! It causes health and psychological problems. Find what makes you happy in every situation. Find a silver lining in everything. I'll use a Buffy example for this (sent to me on a letter from Bekah), "I'm just saying, when tragedy strikes you have to look on the bright side, ya know? Like even used Mercedes still have leather seats." - Chordelia Chase, Buffy Season 1. Isn't that a funny quote! It's so true. We can be happy no matter what situation we're in, even if it's just a small flicker of happiness. Be happy!

This ends the lessons brought by summer 2010. Thank you to all who contributed by being a part of my life, even those people I don't like. As always, anyone who needs anything just call or text me!

"Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible." - Cherie Carter Scott

To Drea, The Uninspired Blog

Today's Topic: Why Andrea Briscoe rocks!

Hola! Andrea Grace(?) Briscoe needs me to write a blog because she doesn't want to do her job!

Reasons why Andrea is cool:

1. She likes Taking Back Sunday

2. She's Andy's sister...jk Drea, stopp cursing at me!

3. She cackles

4. She leaves me nice Facebook comments saying she misses me!

5. She held a job at Bass for 2 years without committing suicide!

6. She is smart

7. She's loyal

Why Andrea sucks:

1. She likes the Gilmore Girls

2. She made me write this blog in less than 9 minutes!

3. She won't hug me!

End

Anyone need anything let me know. This quote is for you Drea!

“When one pays a visit it is for the purpose of wasting other people's time, not one's own.” - Oscar Wilde

Today's Topic: Revelations

For those who look at this blog and think that I am going to talk about "Revelation," the last book in The Bible, you are wrong. I do not have enough comprehension of that particular book to even ponder writing a blog on it. No, this blog is about revelations in my life; some big and some not so major.

1. Spencer and I are friends again. There was a span of about 3 or 4 months where neither one of us had spoken to the other. We now text each other every now and then. This is a good thing. No one can throw away 3 years of friendship like it is nothing!

2. I love Georgia State University. This isn't really a recent revelation, because it happened back towards the beginning of this semester, and I have mentioned it before. I could not have picked a better university to learn and grow in. Diversity is GSU's claim to fame, and I have gotten to see so many different lifestyles and histories that I would have never been exposed to if I had gone anywhere else. I've learned there is a world outside of Commerce, and it has lots of great people in it. Some of those people are similar to me, and some are completely different from myself. We are all beautiful in some way. That is what GSU shows appreciation for, the beauty in every person's life, past, and each and every thing that makes us who we are.

3. I don't have to be who my parents have always wanted me to be. I can be me, and that is perfectly fine. Those who truly love and care about me will still love me no matter who I am or what I do (with the exception of serious things such as murder). I can't hang my happiness on my parent's opinion of my life. I have to make myself happy and hope that their happiness can fall in line with mine. Of course I want them to be happy in their lives, but that's exactly the point...HAPPY IN THEIR LIVES...not mine. I need to be happy with myself, and they need to be happy with themselves. I want them to be proud of me but not because of what I accomplish or what award I get, but for who I am, how I live my life, and for my heart. I've rarely felt like this. Only a few people, I believe, care about me unconditionally, and I love them more than I can say. Of course, I love my parents! I love them a lot, but I wish I could just be me with them...but I can't.

As always, if anyone needs me let me know!

End

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. - E.E. Cummings

Words

Today's Topic: Words that I don't like!

There are lots of words out there that are just gross, nasty, unlikeable, and/or sounds bad. I'm making a black list (like in V for Vendetta) of words that should never be said again!

The List:

moist (which everyone hates), mushy, taint, gooch, foreskin, pasty, queer, guesstimate, zit, dookie (my least favorite word of all time!), oligarchy, magnesium, crustacean, lube, lubricate, lubrication, dental dam, ridonculous, mastiff, marginalized, osmosis, lucrative, liquidate, liquidation, procreate, quarrel, rhombus, cantankerous, xylocarp, paramount (when used to describe the importance of something), plush, pucker, the "n" word, malignant, arduous, panties, bra (when used as a substitute for bro), wenus, malarchy, floral, meningitis, macabre, tumultuous, cylindrical, oligopoly

That is all I can think of right now. Don't use these words otherwise you will meet a fate worse than death (yes I will strap you down and make you listen to country music for endless hours!)!

End!

"Watch you thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become your character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." - Unknown

Oh, I See!

The definition of blog: a weblog (thank you to thefreedicitonary.com)

The point of blogs: write anything you want, whine about minuscule problems, waste time/avoid duties and responsibilities, and to be read by others.

Today's Topic: Surprise! There is no topic!

Instead, I will be posting a poem/song-ish thing I wrote the other night at 12:12 AM (4/23/10) before my first Incept conference!

Disclaimer: You may not like it...sorry!

When the rain won't cease to fall

And you're vision seems so small

Just know that you can call

You can call us one and all

When the storms are flooding you

And you don't know what to do

Sources of help seem oh so few

We'll be there through and through

When you're tired and feel alone

And you're aching to the bone

If you think, "this is my last song"

Know you have a home

When our time is done

And there's nowhere left to run

We'll know that we've had fun

'Cause we've been each others' sun

Shout out to my Incept family! I love you all! Thanks for making GSU not miserable this semester!

As per usual, you need me, call or text me!

End!

"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who come alive." - Howard Thurman

You Like It Too, And I Can Tell

MONDAY (4/19/10): Nadia's birthday! Hard Rock Cafe! Gave Nadia a lap dance!

TUESDAY (4/20/10): Terrible day! I hated Tuesday! I actually got up to go to my 9:30 AM class...and it was cancelled. I had every intention of going to my second class, but I had to go to Northlake Mall (it sucks the biggest balls there) to make a credit card payment! Turns out you can't make two payments over the Internet or by phone within 3 days of each other...silly me! I had to go to Sears in the mall 15 miles away because my min was due. I was in a bad mood the rest of the day until that night.

WEDNESDAY (4/21/10): Also terrible! Chris and I fought over me being "annoyingly nice." I don't understand the concept of being too nice. I only offered to grab him a flash drive from Wal-Mart because I was going there to get ALL WHITE SHOES (ONLY ALL WHITE SHOES FOR INCEPT!!! Pain in the tail.) So I go all the way to Wal-Mart on Howell Mill and find no shoes I can afford and don't get the flash drive. This trip makes me get back at 2:45 for 3:00 Incept training...which would have been fine except Jazmine and I did our project wrong and had to try to fix 15 minutes before it was due at training. We were then late for training!!! GOOD! The night was a little better because Chris and I got over our spat.

THURSDAY (TODAY 4/22/10): Not terrible but not great. My first 2 classes were cancelled so I got to sleep in. Didn't go to my 3rd class. Got some financial aid questions answered. Came back to the room and chilled. Then stuff goes south! I go back to the Incept office at 4:00 to meet some other Inceptors because we all need to go to the mall to find white shoes for the conference tomorrow, but everyone minus Tosin, Christian, and I are running late. They don't leave for the mall till after 5:00, but I couldn't go because I had a Campus PALS meeting at 7:00. So, instead I go to Urban Outfitters to get some cheap, white shoes for $18...yes something went right...but wait...TRAFFIC!!! Because of traffic, I get back late and am also late for my PALS meeting, which wasn't as big of a deal as I thought it would be. Now we're having Inceptor Potluck Dinner! YAY!

TOMORROW (FRIDAY 4/23/10): 1ST INCEPT CONFERENCE! AAAAAHH!!! ALL KINDS OF NERVOUS!

END!!!

"Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working." - Unknown

"Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other." - Walter Elliot

Hello Again

So I haven't posted a blog in over a month, and this is probably due mostly to the fact that I don't really have anything to whine about on here...because I am lame and whine in my blog...yes it is sad! Haha...but instead I will fill this blog with recent happenings/facts in the life of Colton Brown...

1. I only have about 4 more weeks of my freshman year of college! WOW! This year went by extremely fast. First semester kinda sucked, but this semester has been boss! The only thing I miss about first semester is Ashleigh (I love you!). I realized during second semester that I love my Incept family (Tosin is my best GSU friend), I love the other new people in my life (Chris, Candace, Amanda, Rohan, and Numa...even though Rohan and Numa were present last semester), and I love my old friends a lot too!

2. Bekah is my homegirl! We agree on almost everything media based...except for Taylor Swift and Disney tweens.

3. College classes are much harder when you're schedule isn't made by the university. My grades this semester are much lower than last semester, which may be partially because I have some resemblance of a social life this semester! :)

4. I am getting involved on campus. Things I have joined: Stand Up for Kids, Incept, National Society of Collegiate Scholars, Alpha Lambda Delta, and I'm applying for Campus P.A.L.S. and Student Judiciary Board

5. I love Buckhead Church and the Living Room (College Night on Mondays). The people are so nice, and the messages and music are great.

6. Tosin and I are becoming beastly raquetball players! It's like tennis with less aim required!

7. Parenthood is one of my new favorite shows. It comes on NBC, Tuesdays at 10 PM. Andrea, if you read this, you need to watch it because I know how much you love Lauren Graham.

8. I go to sleep listening to the sweet sounds of Roseanne almost every night! I love that show, and it never gets old. Why did it get cancelled? The TV powers that be suck.

9. Chessie and I went to the GSU football scrimmage today, and this season is going to be fun! Of course we're not the best team in the world, but I was impressed.

10. I am longing to watch a low budget action or horror film...I don't know why. I thought about doing the Netflix two week free trial, because I could watch all the low budget movies I want but am scared I won't remember to cancel it after the two weeks are over.

11. We've been studying gender in sociology and psychology, and it's very interesting! At first, I was like, "I could not care less about this," and I still feel that way in psych, but our sociology teacher makes it much more interesting.

12. If I have to be PC (politically correct) much longer I will go insane and yell at someone! I'm tired of it...grow a pair. I understand some things are touchy...but EVERYTHING, REALLY!!!

13. I'm almost done with Incept training! The first conference is April 23rd!!! I'm ready to start getting paid and ready to get the first conference jitters out of my system.

14. I tell Lauren Cooper everything! All the things! She knows that, and I believe she won't tell anyone my secrets!!! :)

15. Speaking of secrets, Tosin and I went to the Post Secret exhibit at Kennesaw State University a few weeks ago. It was awesome! They had the back wall set up so visitors could write down there own secrets and put them up on the wall. Of course i took part, so if you know what my handwriting looks like you may see it...who knows. We also went to Sweet Tomatoes that day, and I love that place! One of the best restaurants EVER! Oh, and I met Megan, Tosin's friend. She is great!

16. I over drafted on my bank account, because I did my math wrong and now owe the bank $80! BOO ME!

17. I can't wait to see the new Nightmare on Elm Street! It looks terrifying.

18. I need to learn to not be so tense. My shoulders are always worn out by the end of the day because I don't know how to relax! I wish I had the time to meditate but no.

19. I have too many movies. I'm almost up to 100 I believe and need to stop spending my money on them!

20. Bruce is my favorite character from Family Guy! He is so funny! "Yay Mayor Bee!" "I'm gone eat you with my little mouth too!"

21. A Goofy Movie and An Extremely Goofy Movie have excellent soundtracks!

That's all for tonight folks. I'm going to bed. Good night. As always, you need anything let me know!

"Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; love more, and all good things will be yours" - Swedish Proverb

"The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity." - Benjamin Franklin

Burnin' My Biscuits

Lately everything has been getting on my nerves! Small things, noticeable things, no things...it's just ridiculous! Like just now I got mad because the Biggest Loser went on one of those annoying commercials when someone gets on the scale and it flashes to different people and ends on someone with their mouth hanging open because it is just soooooo shocking! What the crap is my problem. Even people and things I normally enjoy are bothering me, like some members of the Incept team and working out.

I'm starting to realize that the Incept experience isn't going to be a fairy tale happy land all the time. Don't get me wrong, I'm still looking forward to this summer, but I'm starting to realize that some members of the team are going to urk me! Ah!!! You know at the beginning of every episode of the Real World ever they go through that explanation of people who "stop being nice and start getting real." That statement is actually true. The roommates on the show all meet and are like, "Oh I love everyone, and we're going to all be best friends forever," only to be at each others' throats the next episode...that is what is happening with Incept and me. Little things are starting to really grind my gears, and I hope it doesn't cause friction with the team. I don't know how long I'm going to be able to be politically correct though...I'm not very PC...

I really need Spring Break to happen! This week has been sooooo stressful! I had/have 4 tests/midterms and my practice Incept tour...shoot me. Panama City is calling my name! I need to relax by the beach, chill with my old friends, and eat some good food...away from Commerce/Atlanta!

I think part of my moodiness may be the lack of chicken. I made the decision to become a pescetarian for Lent, meaning no meat other than seafood (ugh, another Biggest Loser annoying commercial), because I have been very spiritually lazy as of late. So I gave up something extra special important and am trying to rely on God to bring me through this.

Question: Should I watch White Collar or the new NBC series Parenthood at 10:00?

Answer: Neither! Study for your sociology exam...yeah right.

POSITIVE ALERT: I found my favorite church of all time, Buckhead Church. I say I love the church, but I haven't actually been to a Sunday service. For the past 2 weeks I've been going to their college night, which is Mondays, called the Living Room. Oh man, the music is awesome, the people are loving and accepting, and the messages are great. I JUST LOVE IT!

I believe this is where we come to a close tonight. Once again, if anyone needs me let me know!

"Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain." ~Author Unknown

"Hold My Heart" - Tenth Avenue North

Song lyrics to "Hold My Heart" by Tenth Avenue North

How long must I pray
Must I pray to You?
How long must I wait
Must I wait for you?
How long ‘til I see your face
See you shining through

I'M ON MY KNEES
BEGGING YOU TO NOTICE ME
I'M ON MY KNEES
FATHER, WILL YOU TURN TO ME

ONE TEAR IN THE DRIVING RAIN
ONE VOICE IN THE SEA OF PAIN
COULD THE MAKER OF THE STARS
HEAR THE SOUND OF MY BREAKING HEART
ONE LIFE, THAT'S ALL I AM
RIGHT NOW I CAN BARELY STAND
IF YOU'RE EVERYTHING YOU SAY YOU ARE
WOULD YOU COME CLOSE AND HOLD
MY HEART

I've been so afraid,afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye
But if there's no other way
I'm done asking why


I'M ON MY KNEES
BEGGING YOU TO TURN TO ME
I'M ON MY KNEES
FATHER, WILL YOU RUN TO ME

So many questions without answers
Your promises remain
I can't see but I'll take my chances
To hear you call my name
To hear you call my name

I Shot for the Sky...

Do you ever get that motivated feeling? You know the one where you are completely at peace w/ yourself, you feel well physically, spiritually, and mentally, and you're ready to take on all challenges no matter how tough they may be. But, after said feeling passes, you hit a low point. You realize you are just the same as you were before the inspiration, and you still have trouble completing daily tasks...much less extravagant ones. You know, that one!

I've hit this low yet again in my life. It's not a huge deal because I go through stages like this all the time, but recently I've been on an extended high. I should have known that highs don't last forever and been prepared for a drop sooner or later, but I always ignore prior knowledge and tell myself it will be different this time...and the next...and the next.........

After church today I felt great! One of my friends got saved, Sunday school was actually decent (I met a Russian guy that was 6ft 7in tall in my class!!!), I got good foods w/ the parental units, and everything was just dandy. I don't know what pushed me off my peak because the last thing I remember texting Lauren was that I was in an excellent mood. My how things change quickly.

Things didn't get worse when I got out here to the ATL. I went and hung out and had dinner w/ some Incept friends. We played DJ Hero, and then I came back to my room just feeling like crap. I think much of my wishy-washy, up-and-down feelings about myself is due to my lack of comfort.

Don't get me wrong, I have come a LONG way in understanding myself and accepting that I can't please EVERYONE...sometimes not even my parents, but I still rely on that feeling of worth that is only given when I do something that is "pleasing" to them and/or others.

I've been having trouble getting motivated to do anything productive, besides Incept stuff, for a few weeks. I'm told in psych class that this is a sign of depression...I'm not depressed. I don't have time for such and ordeal, but why is it so hard for me to do simple things, such as cleaning the apartment, getting up early, going to church, doing homework, etc?

I think I'm burnt out and just need a break. I've done that thing that I've done all my life where I pack all the things that will possibly fit on my back and try to trek up the largest hill in front of me...which basically means I've given myself too many responsibilities and I'm crashing under their weight. I have to realize I AM NOT ATLAS AND CAN'T HOLD THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD ALONE! Which is where my faith comes in...

I haven't been representing a Christian very well. I'm told if a child of God is spiritually dead for too long that God will either take everything He has blessed them w/ and let them go (not a loss of salvation, but a loss of blessing), or that He may just go ahead and call them home. Maybe these rapid shifts from highs to lows are my punishment for not being a good Christian example for others. My problem is getting motivated to change and trust that I can be strong in that change. One of my biggest fears is turning into one of those people who goes to church and feels better than those who don't, and spends all their time condemning others to Hell...I've been there and done that, and hate that part of my life. I think in my attempt at not being judgmental I lost my own conviction of the things that I do that are unpleasing to God. While trying to be a loving example, I became numb to my own sin. NOT GOOD! I need to change! I am going to try to change. I'm not saying I'm going to wake up tomorrow and be completely on fire spiritually or have all bad habits gone in a day, but I hope eventually I can get back on God's path for me.

I refuse to go back to the judgmental stage I was once in. Not to say I don't judge anyone now, because I still do, but I will NOT walk around calling out other people's indiscretions, while ignoring my own like I once did. We are all imperfect, but God loves us all despite this fact. Jesus still died for me in spite of the terrible things He knew I would do. Of course there will always be people who do certain things that make me mad, and I will probably still show my anger, but I hope eventually it will stop.

I must admit that this epiphany was brought on by the Sunday school class I complain about so much! If each one of them can grow, I can! I've seen changes in them just today, partially due to a good verbal beating from Chessie, but also because they are growing in their faith. I have to accept that they won't change over night either.

The real questions for myself can be found in the Tenth Avenue North song "By Your Side" (thanks Chessie). "Why are you striving these days? Why are you trying to earn grace? Why are you crying? (let me lift up your face)...Why are you looking for love? Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough? To where will you go child, tell me where will you run? To where will you run? ('Cause I'll be by your side wherever you've fallen)." I need to remember the words in parentheses. That is what God will do for me if I just rely on him. There will still be ups-and-downs, but I can face them w/ Him.

These are my thoughts tonight. Take them and use them to help you in any situation you can fit them. If you're reading this, then I probably know and love you. If you need anything, any problem or request, let me know...because I'm sure I've confided in you at some point in time!

Peace!

''The only benefit to conforming is that everyone likes you but yourself"

Holla!!!

Blogs blogs blogs blogs blogs blogs!!!

Recently Incept training 2010 has begun. I love my fellow inceptors! They are all FLY! I've never meshed with so many different people so perfectly. We all went out last night for Ben Williams's birthday and it was CRAZY! What an experience... I'm looking forward to a summer full of great memories and new experiences.

This weekend was really fun. I got to chill with Drea Thursday and eat good Chinese food! Nom nom nom! Then we watched most of Juno, which would have been terrible if one element would have been the slightest bit off, but everything fit so perfectly that it worked. I also got to know Andrea's roommate Haley who is super cool! "What's that's supposed to mean?!"

Friday I ended up at Olive Garden with Callie, Courtney, and Anna-Marie. Good food and good laughs! Then we went to Target. Afterward I went to Maysville to hang out at my Sunday School teachers' house. Normally I hate being around the people in my SS class, but we had a good time playing Phase 10 and yelling at each other over it.

Saturday was Logan's basketball game, which surprisingly wasn't a complete disaster! They looked like they had seen a basketball at times. Then, me and Lauren made the trek back to the ATL. When I got back I met with the Inceptors for the night of craziness! As Ben would say, "It was a struggle!" Haha

Today (Sunday) Lauren and I made a trip to the delicious Johnnie Carino's and to Movie Stop. Bow Tie Festival is the best pasta on the face of the earth!!! I got some good movies...Pulse, Paranormal Activity, A Perfect Getaway, and Awake. I have some good hours to spend in front of the TV. Now I'm watching Roseanne! What a great show!

Like I said, it was a great weekend! Peace!